Tis the Season Of Not So Jolly...

It's that time of year again, the time that brings out my bah humbug...

I thought it might be different what with having the Boy about but external factors have kept it in place. I am still working on health stuff, trying to just feel better and not so old and broken down, and work is such an unhappy place for the people who come through each day especially in December.

This year myself and my coworker are carrying the unhappiness close to ourselves as more than 10 people have been laid off in the past month and if things do not improve more of us may follow. We have now entered that horrible place of secret celebration at another persons misfortune: "Thank gosh I did not lose my job". I REALLY do not like revelling in some other person's bad luck but at the same time I keep thinking "At least I can still pay bills". Blergh.

Of course this has increased our workloads, at least I feel it has, because I cannot say no to anything I am asked to do. Someday are just go, go, go and I am scrambling to keep track of the 3 varied areas that I must now cover. We all recently found out that there is another area that we have to cover as well, no opting out allowed. I see strain in the faces around me and I see others increasing their tattletale ways. It is hard.

Health wise I am still eating meat (weirdness), still taking a bajillion supplements, now getting vitamin injections and having multiple tests to rule out all sorts of other possible things that can leave me feeling tired, worn out, achy and just generally unhappy with it all. Such specifics I know! It leaves me feeling old before my time.

I can be pretty doom-y and gloomy at the best of times so being in the midst of the sucky times has increased both (the poor Boy).

And I can't even drink this to wallow:

Bah! Humbug! *wink*

I really like my coworkers.
It's a good change to only work with one annoying person :)

The good ones help with the daily craziness.

3 Weeks Gone

I've finished 3 weeks and I'm tired, tired but glad I took the job.

I've had more than my fair share of screw ups and I still hate the phone (it rings so much and I get flustered with all the lines) but it is better, much better than the old job. I work with a group of people who love what they do and a boss who loves their job and who always lets the staff know how valuable and appreciated they are. It is quite the change.


90% of what I am doing is very new to me so I find myself exhausted as I leave the office. I had a mini meltdown last weekend and I think it was work tired combined with iron tired and I ended up having a little weep on a comforting shoulder while sitting by the ocean. I was gently talked down off my freak out and was able to face this week.

Much like the old job I have limited things I can talk about so most work posts will be vague. I wish I could share more but it's a privacy thing.

Ooooh! I know!

I got chatted up on the phone one day. The guy was trying to be smooth and charming but his lines of "You sound really sweet", "I bet you are good looking" and "I can't wait to meet you" just ended up creeping me out. When I did finally meet him he was oblivious to me :D

Money Talks

That job I blabbed on and on about, subjecting you to my angst? I ended up turning it down due to finances.

That first week after saying no was a lot harder than I expected as I faced staying at my current job for the unforeseeable future, all because of money; money, that necessary evil.

My job isn't terrible but I don't really have anywhere to go with it. I don't toe the line enough and, as such, have found promotions thwarted.

I get my bills paid, decent benefits and semi flexible hours but the job is taking its toll. My understanding is that people typically burn out in 5-7 years and I am well past that time frame.

And I wonder why I am tired? Really?

I spent a lot of time sighing and wondering if there wasn't a way to make the lesser pay work out. There really wasn't and knowing this helped me, mostly, feel alright about my decision but it sure didn't stop me from whining.

And so onwards.....

Two weeks ago I got a call from the above job. They'd revamped the position, found some more money and were wondering if it held any interest to me as they couldn't stop thinking about what a good addition I'd be to their working team.

Cue silence. And then more angst. And lots of conversations and what if-ing and maybe even a few frustrated tears (ps. thanks you). People made a lot of good points in regards to yay-ing or nay-ing the job but one friend really helped me get out of my head and evaluate what I wanted; she pretty much voodooed me.

I accepted the offer and begin a new working life in the morning.

I'm freaking out but at least I don't have that daily dread. I know I am going to be overwhelmed and exhausted with all the learning, especially for the first few weeks, but I am hoping for more job satisfaction, and overall life satisfaction, since so much of my time is spent at work.

So many changes this year...

I got a call from the job I applied for implying that I am going to be offered it.

My first reaction was "Oh sh*t".

Hmmmm.....

Now did I react that way due to: being sick, not wanting to make the decision or not wanting the job.

Damn I wish I knew my mind!

Edit: A little while later...

It's strange to me that I'll try meeting with some of you internet-y weirdos (best weirdos ever!) and travelling alone and attempt things like ziplining but I am a complete chicken when it comes to things (risks) involving money (jobs, investing etc.).

Yes? No? Maybe?

Here we are in a recession and I am contemplating changing jobs. Does that make me stupid?

Right now I am part of a union and therefore am guaranteed my position and wage. Due to the nature of my work it is highly unlikely that I'd ever lose my job without doing something illegal.

I don't love my job and it doesn't even make me all that happy. Work pays my bills and pays for a little fun plus it gives me benefits as far as the Doctor, Dentist and retirement planning are concerned.

Trying to weigh the pro's and con's is making me angsty. Crunching numbers is making my head hurt (wage is less, not sure of benefits, longer commute but possibly happier...).

I am not good with these sorts of decisions....

One day in December I ended up working in a different department than normal with co workers that I rarely ever see. Within an hour I was ready to go home. They talked and talked and never shut up. Normally I can tune stuff out and just get on with the business at hand but not this day.

This day, the entire day, was consumed with wedding and baby talk. They were absorbed by each others tales and seemed to feed off of one another' woes. "What about this?" she'd ask to which the other would reply "Well I tried this how about you?"; so on and so forth.

As I worked on in the midst of all the squealing and oohing I had my own internal conversation. I was full of cynical and/or sarcastic responses, mostly along the lines of "You are not the first one to have a baby/get married!" or "I could answer all your questions!".

I know I was pretty wrapped up in my own head, and stuff, that month but they were oblivious to anything but themselves. It could be that I've been involved with any number of weddings and babies and that I am so over it or it could be that they were really obnoxious about it all.

Maybe I just don't care anymore.

I think my bosses must secretly hate me by now.

I had occasion the other day to point out a "policy" issue that they had failed to follow through on. I tried to be kind in the note I left, not pushing to hard, as I mainly wanted them to know that it had been noticed.

The next day I saw the issue had been dealt with. I think I shall be treading a bit lightly and making sure that I am crossing my t's and dotting my i's.

At work the boss wanted to speak with me. He had his "I am management recognize my power" voice on and so I prepared myself for a lecture and/or some criticism. He began telling me that it had come to his attention that some co-workers were having issues in doing a certain task and so he was going to show us all how to do thing properly. Before he really got into his spiel I interrupted him and talked him through the way I approach the task. The more I talked the lower his shoulders got. I robbed him of his management glory as I was doing everything right.

I'll admit to gloating a little bit.

Work 15 hours.
Feel slightly dead.
Sleep like a log.
Get up and feel as though you are not quite there.

Too old for this crap.

My vacation in the middle of the country consisted of tea, friends, laziness and good food, a lot of good food. I just slipped into the families daily life and did whatever their norm was for the day. It was quite nice not thinking too much or even doing too much.

Littlest girl had her birthday party while I was there. We did some goody bag shopping and then her mom came across these animals. *brainwave* Cheap birthday gifts for the billion and one birthday parties her kids were going to be attending. We got many looks and laughs as we walked through the store.

On my birthday we spent a good portion of the day in our pj's as middle boy was home sick from school. We consumed tea and homemade scones and then my friend made me apple crisp for a cake substitute; a very good day.

Our big outing was a walk with the puppy in a local forest. The day was mild and warm with the sunlight streaming down through the leaves. A lot of people kept telling me that the leaves would be amazing out east at this time of year. They were definitely pretty but I do believe, when we are slightly drier out this way, our fall colours are just as nice.

Craziest thing I did on vacation? I applied, spur of the moment like, for a job. In a matter of 20 hours I'd sent in my resume and had an interview with three people! It's a job I think I can do but now I have to figure out if it is worth moving cross country for.

Much thinking to do.

Somethings come up and I've needed to do some quick studying so I still have not completely finished the trip posts!

Gah!

found here

And it is on again

After many conversations, confrontations, any number of questions, a few challenges and some frustrated crying* I got my trip time signed off on. It was a big headache and if paying bills wasn't an issue I might have told them where to put my job. Ugh.

It's the fact that they changed the rules part way through the 'game' that really got me. Oh powers that be that play with peoples goodwill how I want to strangle you! But at least I am getting my running away time and will not be losing the ticket.

Over the pond I go.

*only at home on my own. I would never give them the satisfaction of seeing me cry.

Whose eyes can I poke out?!? They want to take away my vacation time!

Coworker with the jeans?
Now in a thong!
?????
And why the need to share that with me!?!
Ergh.

There are days you just want to poke the bosses eyes out. Today was one of those days. The big one and I hadn't crossed paths at all this week and, instead of making an effort to speak to me, I was left a note.

First off I am not really the morning type. Surprise! I need a little bit of time to adjust to the day. I've learned to be quiet in the mornings just so I don't say anything snarky and rude. It's safer for me and those around me to just let me be.

So I get this note first thing in the morning. I read it over and popped. I cursed up a storm, in a most unlady like manner, and then composed several sarcastic and vicious responses in my head; good thing I was on my own for the moment. The thing I was being taken to task for? I'd had a long talk to the boss about it and it was agreed to by both of us! I was coordinating with a fellow staffer on it and the boss knew this as well.

The boss is on the high horse.
The boss is being a boob.
The boss is wrong.

The girl is right!!!
razzafrazza..........I'll never hear that though....

nothing on the job. now i really want it. oops.

The weekend was spent working on my resume/CV and listening to Chicago by Sufjan Stevens.

I fell in love again
All things go, all things go
Drove to Chicago
All things know, all things know
We sold our clothes to the state
I don't mind, I don't mind
I made a lot of mistakes
In my mind, in my mind

You came to take us
All things go, all things go
To recreate us
All things grow, all things grow
We had our mindset
All things know, all things know
You had to find it
All things go, all things go

I drove to New York
In the van, with my friend
We slept in parking lots
I don't mind, I don't mind
I was in love with the place
In my mind, in my mind
I made a lot of mistakes
In my mind, in my mind

You came to take us
All things go, all things go
To recreate us
All things grow, all things grow
We had our mindset
All things know, all things know
You had to find it
All things go, all things go

If I was crying
In the van, with my friend
It was for freedom
From myself and from the land
I made a lot of mistakes
I made a lot of mistakes
I made a lot of mistakes
I made a lot of mistakes

You came to take us
All things go, all things go
To recreate us
All things grow, all things grow
We had our mindset
All things know, all things know
You had to find it
All things go, all things go

You came to take us
All things go, all things go
To recreate us
All things grow, all things grow
We had our mindset
(I made a lot of mistakes)
All things know, all things know
(I made a lot of mistakes)
You had to find it
(I made a lot of mistakes)
All things go, all things go
(I made a lot of mistakes)

So, the wage question...

A friend's friend, whom I am acquainted with, has 3 job opening for his business in the UK. He sent out a copy of the descriptions and information which my friend sent on to me (and then another sent it as well) under the subject "I think you'd be fabulous at..."

Other than reading over the information and asking the wage question I haven't looked into it at all.

But I'm thinking.